This frame was taught to me by my friend and mentor, Don Beck and was presented in Boulder, at this years Personal Emergence Spiral Dynamics training. I think it’s very revealing, simple and down right brilliant.
It goes like this:
The “Real” (or total) Me loves The “Real” (or total) You
Ah, our souls meet, connect and recognize each other. Does it get any better, really now?
Then…
The Me – Me (how I see myself) and The You – You (how you see yourself)
tries to live with
The YOU- Me (how You see me) and The ME- You (how I see you)
Hmmm… a match made in heaven, except:

The bigger the gaps and stronger the polarities between these perspectives, the more fireworks…both exploding in ecstasy and blowing up in conflict. Perhaps this is all too familiar, it was for me.
Oh…and then when the Me-YOU engages as many people as possible, to support their view of the Me-Me, and as an added bonus has no clue as to the YOU-me (let alone the You-You)…well, you have, under normal circumstances, the makings for a “War of the Roses.”
Good Lord, have mercy! Or as my friend, Janet Cunningham understands: Caution! Soul Mate Ahead.
More and more of us are responding the impulses of the Real Me and the Real You. Our minds on the other hand, have not quite caught up, and thus, the moment to moment mingling of all six of the perspectives is…well…chaotic. Anyone care to reach for that dancing star?
If we are ever going to experience living from the Real Me and the Real You, let’s figure out how to close those gaps. Oh yeah! That’s personal emergence in the context of the the other. Because people don’t mature, grow or change outside of relationship.
I guess I’ll keep ‘growing a new mind.” See ya in Boulder, next year!
(Artwork by Stephanie Schriver- click on picture for website)